When your horse is hairy and he really needs a clip,
Get yourself a twitching stick and grab him by the lip.
Fill him full of sedative or half a crate of ale,
Get yourself an anvil and tie it to his tail.
Set his feet in concrete, tie his body to the wall,
Lock his door and bolt it. That should fix the animal.
If you're a hairy horse and they think you need a clip,
Tell them that you disagree by giving them a nip.
Kick them in the clippers and watch them turning pale,
As you hit them with an anvil through a well aimed swish of tail.
Run around the stable, smash a hole right through the wall.
Gallop out to freedom shouting "Hairy Horses Rule".
By John Peters
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Contact John@bigshaggydog.com